There is a term called ‘man-splaining’.

      For those of you unfamiliar, it refers to when men take it upon themselves to ‘explain’ things to women. Not just anything, though that’s bad enough, but things that men have no first-hand knowledge of - like how a woman should talk, dress, behave, and/or think. Most men are unaware of what they are doing. Most men aren’t trying to be condescending or patriarchal or otherwise dismissive. Most men think they're being supportive, helpful, showing that they care.

       I am not ‘most men’. In fact, I am very aware of what I’m doing. But, since being an idiot is sort of my speciality, I’m going to step right into the deep end and arrogantly announce: It’s tough to be a minority. I know, it takes a lot of - let’s say confidence - for a middle-class, middle-aged, straight white man to voice that opinion. I might as well be drowning in my own privilege. But bear with me.

That word ‘privilege’ elicits a strong response, especially now. Be it ‘Male Privilege’ or ‘Straight Privilege’ or even ‘White Privilege’ - that last is thrown around in the wake of every black man killed at the hands of police. And, since few understand the term’s meaning, it comes across as an accusation and puts a lot of people on the defensive.

     Being privileged doesn’t mean you don’t face challenges. We all have hardships of one sort or another. That’s just life. But for me, being a straight, forty-something Caucasian male in modern Western society, prejudice isn’t one of them. I don’t face racism or sexism or ageism on a daily basis. And the thing about bigotry, in any form, is that it is insidious, exhausting and, above all, dehumanizing.

      One of my favourite authors, John Scalzi, once wrote an article positing that ‘if life were a video game’ then straight, white men in America have been ‘playing on easy mode’ (everyone else, he argued, started life with their settings on hard). He took a lot of heat for that piece. No one, it seems, wants to admit that their life is ‘easy’.

       But a lot of people, smart and successful people, are unable to recognize that some obstacles are more imposing and ingrained than others. There’s a baseball-themed metaphor, ‘born on third-base', that describes the mentality of many rich white men. They are literally given a headstart in life - their family’s wealth provides security and opportunities not afforded to most - and they are unable to recognize these advantages. As far as they're concerned, they are entitled to their entitlements.

I, despite my various, unearned privileges, am not blind to the difficulties of others. That said, it did take me forty-plus years to realize that women, in general, face challenges most men don't ever have to consider throughout their lives. I’ve never thought twice about where I park or walk. Never weighed the career ramifications of getting married, changing my name and having a child. I’ve never been whistled at or faced uncomfortable, unwanted sexual advances in the workplace. I’ve never been questioned as to the ‘appropriateness’ of my wardrobe or hairstyle.

       Decades of racial profiling have taken place around me and I, being white, never noticed - never had to notice. Seeing a police car in my rear-view mirror is an annoyance, not a possible death threat. Security guards do not scrutinize me unduly while I shop. And, while some people do cross the street when they see me coming, they are merely avoiding talking to me, not making fearful assumptions based on my skin colour.

    These issues are huge and ever-evolving, but my space is limited. So listen to this idiot and remember: no matter our differences - be they racial, religious, or sexual - humanity is universal. Choose kindness. Prejudice solved. You’re welcome.